I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
