Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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