I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
