i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
