Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
