What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
