the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
