my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
