My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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