either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
