I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
