sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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