Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
