You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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