next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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