erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
