WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
