Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
