It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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