i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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