I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
