I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
