I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
