that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
