You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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