Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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