If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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