it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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