My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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