Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
