is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
