Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
