got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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