mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
