Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
