Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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