a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
