good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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