Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
