he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
