You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
