She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
