garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
