I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
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