i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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