shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
