I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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