do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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