morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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