I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
