Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
