Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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