okay pat passed out under dana's car
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
