I hate all girls vehemently.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
